one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
