You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
