hell yes lets make some ravioli
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
