Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
