Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
