I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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