Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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