i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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