i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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