somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
birth control should be required to get into college
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
