I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
im on a boat
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