u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
