I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
