You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We are two peas in an std pod
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
