Midget sex pt 2 tonight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
