you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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