She said her name was "party"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
