New invention idea: vibrating tampons
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
