Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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