i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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