Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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