Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
