She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
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girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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