I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize