also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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