Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
