Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
