Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she told me i tasted like america
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
