I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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