in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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