I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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