arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize