last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize