Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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