Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
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Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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