I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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