$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
