Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
