so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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