she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
