grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
NoShamevember. You game?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
try to milk me bitch
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