look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
