whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
