grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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