Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
