Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize