We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
