So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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