don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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