I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
nutella sex= disaster
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
