so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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