Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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