I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
