I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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