I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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