I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
